A Good Year

Today is My Birthday

I’m lucky that my birthday is in December. I like it because the proximity to New Years gives me a special kind of timing to look back on the last year and take stock on how it was. I gotta be honest, the last 4-years since Covid have felt like a rollercoaster that I’m just starting to hit the slow part of. So much of the last 4-years have felt out of control that 2024 has been the biggest blessing I could have ever asked for.

Creatively speaking the work I’ve done, and the comfortability I’ve developed in my shooting style/process has been super rewarding. Earlier this year I moved into my own studio for the first time and I think it has taken the entirety of this year but I’m finally producing work that I think shows the growth I’ve experienced since starting my career as a photographer.

Also (spoiler alert) I’m writing again and if I’m being honest I never thought I’d get back to this place.

Writing has always been such a crucial outlet for me and having spent the better part of the last 5-6 years not doing it, finding it again has been one of the great joys of this year. I’ve usually done a good job taking my life and the important moments and jotting down thoughts and feelings about it but for a while I lost that. Finding it again has felt amazing.

Remarkably, for me, this year has been both extremely successful and also extremely difficult (as most years are). There’s this inherent duality in life where things can be amazing but also shitty. Good days, bad days, weeks, months, etc. They all have culminated into a good year. I’m thankful for all of the hard shit I experienced this year because in the process of looking back on it I’m able to find perspective for what I want out of my 2025, and the future in general.

So often I feel like I’ve put the future on a pedestal. I was looking forward to stuff so much that I didn’t look at the present. This year I set a bunch of goals for myself and honestly accomplished a lot of them, some I didn’t even get close to. Regardless of my successes or perceived failures for my 2024 goals, I was able to find so much happiness in becoming a better version of the person I want to be. That in and of itself makes anything I didn’t achieve an afterthought. The truth is, as you get older (at least for me) you get closer and closer to the person you want to be. For me 2024 was a giant leap forward into the man I want to become.

I think the single greatest gift I’ve given myself this year is the comfort I feel in my own skin. Granted this isn’t just some feeling I decided on X date to bestow upon myself, but at some point this year I gave myself the peace to appreciate the person I am. It may not sound like a lot but for a person who relies quite a bit on external validation for things like work, feeling like myself and doing what I want has been tremendous. That comfort has given me clarity to view my life in a way I don’t think I’ve been able to before.

As a human it’s so easy to lose sight on the things we accomplish. There’s always something else to aspire for, something more to achieve or lust after. I don’t know if it is because of social media or we’re just inherently wired to never be satisfied but this year is the first year in a very long time where I stopped and smelled the roses.

This year I went to Paris. A place I’ve been dying to travel to my entire life and I finally fucking went. So much of the last call it 10-years I’d not been traveling because I always felt it was lame or sad to travel the world alone. Let me tell you, I was extremely fucking wrong. I had no idea what a transformative experience traveling alone could be. That one week trip turned into a gigantic inflection point of my life and I’m disappointed it has taken me this long to take that leap.

So what’s my advice to myself and to you for next year?

Stop worrying about the wreckage of the future.

I think I’ve spent far too many sleepless nights worrying about what will be, instead of creating a life for myself that I want. Worry is a young man’s game and having hit the 50 yard line of life I’m mindful on the limited amount of days we get to experience. I know it sounds overly dramatic but if 50% of my life is gone, I want the next 50% to be used to the max.

For now, it’s time to live life the way I want and on my terms. It’s time to create the things I want to create, travel the places I want to travel, and experience anything and everything I want.

So 2025, I have a lot of high expectations for you and I’m incredibly excited for what the future holds.